Why does God have rules regarding sex? Pastor Chip Ingram provides the answer

By Sodwana Bay

Pastor Chip Ingram of Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, California, knows that following rules can be difficult, but he reminds Christians that love is the driving force out of every rule and parameter set by God. Ingram says God made rules regarding love and sex because He wants His children to have nothing but the very best when it comes to love, sex, and relationships. The truth is every gift that flows out of love almost always has some rules and parameters that are set around it. “God knows that sex outside of marriage is second-rate sex – it’s sex with guilt and shame attached and some pretty devastating consequences,” he writes in an article for The Christian Post. A sexually immoral lifestyle, according to Ingram, is one where couples live together outside of marriage or engage in behaviour that would cause the partner to desire them sexually outside the bonds of marriage. “Even if someone doesn’t believe in God’s Word or follow His rules, it is undeniable that there are certain spiritual, physical and emotional price tags that go along with sex outside of marriage,” Ingram says. He cites statistics obtained by researchers from UCLA, who discovered that couples who live together prior to marriage have a 50 percent higher rate of divorce than those who do not. “They are also more likely to experience infidelity in marriage. Studies have also found that the introduction of sex into a dating relationship almost always ushers in the breakup of the relationship,” he says. This is why Ingram says it makes perfect sense for God to tell His children: “Keep the fire of sex in the fireplace of marriage. If you take it out and put it on the living room floor, it will burn the house down.” He explains that God isn’t “withholding” sex from those who are unmarried since His ultimate desire is to let Christians experience deep, intimate love that will last a lifetime. “The purpose of His rules is to maximise our relationships and pleasure in the long run,” Ingram says. “Real, loving relationships demand sexual purity. People that only want a one-night stand don’t need purity because their behaviour is about self-worship and not about truly loving another person. If we want a loving and lasting relationship, then sexual purity is a must.”


The best gift God gives us — suffering

By Sodwana Bay

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us Romans 5:3-5 In the years that I have been in ministry, I have had the great privilege to pray for the members of our congregation on a regular basis. As I sift through prayer requests and intercede with them, I notice one thing about people’s prayer requests — that they could be broken down into three different categories. These categories are provision, protection and providence. Our members, and most likely every Christian, will often find themselves praying for material and financial provision, God’s hedge of protection from sickness and harm, and providence in their work, studies or family. Never have I seen anyone pray for more suffering and challenges. And who would? We don’t like the idea of challenges and suffering. In fact, many of us will pray for deliverance from suffering and challenges the moment they come. However, the Bible makes it clear that suffering is actually good, and as absurd as the concept may seem, the apostle Paul encourages us to rejoice in suffering. God wants us to throw parties and jump around in joy because of our sufferings! After all, that was always what the context of rejoicing was in Hebrew and Greek culture. The Bible implies that we are to be excited about sufferings because of the good that it brings to us. Romans 5:3-5 tells us that suffering produces endurance, character and hope. I am also not suggesting that praying for blessing and prosperity is bad. God also instructs us to pray for our daily bread and for his joy and goodness. God wants us to be blessed, but He also wants us to suffer. It doesn’t mean that God wants us to be sad and depressed. In fact, God calls us to “rejoice in suffering” because of the great things that suffering produces. Sure we can pray for more success and finances but when God offers to us suffering — whether we pray for it or not — it produces endurance, character and hope, which will always leads to more success and finances. We don’t have to ask our pastors to pray that we suffer. In fact, I urge you not to, but that’s the beauty of God’s grace: He gives us what we need and what makes us better even when we don’t want it. That’s what it means for God to make all things work together for our good. Suffering is a gift from God, and one that we must rejoice in and maximize. If you are suffering today, continue to allow God to grow perseverance, character and hope in you.


5 habits that church attendees should stop doing

By Sodwana Bay

The church is a wonderful avenue to build a strong community of believers who can help point each other to Christ. However, the church is far from perfect and the way that we do church can sometimes be flawed. In church services, people can build some strong habits that can actually be harmful not just for the body as a whole but also for the person. Here are some habits that church goers should stop doing to fully enjoy the blessing that is the church community. 1. Cherry picking sermons When the pastor starts preaching about faith, joy and blessing, everyone seems to be all ears and attentive to the feel-good sermon. And then suddenly the pastor starts encouraging people to read their Bibles, join a small group or give to missions as an application to God’s grace. By that time people have their eyes set on smartphones and on the exit. Every Word spoken through sermons fulfil a need in us, even those that we don’t want to hear. 2. Coming in late to miss worship The first ten minutes of church service will sometimes look like a deserted hall, but just as soon as worship ends people start flocking in through the doors. Worship is the most integral part of the service, and it’s even more important than the preaching of the Word. The preaching is for our benefit, but the worship that we give is our way of blessing and honouring God for His goodness. 3. Saying no to small group invitations There’s a reason why your pastor wants you to be part of a small group, and that’s because he wants to see you get discipled, grow in your walk with Christ and win in every area of your life. Church is a great place to find friends whom you can experience worship, fellowship and discipleship with. 4. Leaving early and skipping fellowship Church isn’t a once-a-week event that we attend to fulfil a religious duty. It is a gift given to us by God to grow in relationship with others whom we can do life with. People should be just as excited about after-church fellowship as they are with the service itself. It’s the time that we can share life with one another. 5. Feeling entitled to a favourite spot I’ve seen people give ushers daunting looks after they were requested to give way for the elderly or to move to the front. Often people can feel a sense of entitlement thinking that the church- and ultimately God- owes them something. Here’s news for you: The church doesn’t owe us anything and it is us who owe our lives to God. It is a blessing and privilege to be a part of the church community.


10 Bible verses to remind you how precious you are

By Sodwana Bay

We’ve all experienced times in our lives when we’ve felt unloved, low or as though we didn’t really matter. Whatever the reason, whether it’s because we feel lonely, far from God or distant from our family and friends, we can draw comfort from the Bible by reminding ourselves of the value of our lives. Here are 10 verses which illustrate just how precious our lives are: Genesis 1:27 – “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them.” Genesis 2:7 – “Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living being.” Psalm 22:9 – “Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.” Psalm 127:3 – “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” Psalm 139:13-15 – “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.” Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Matthew 6:25-26 – “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” John 10:10 – “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 13:9 – “The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not covet,’ and whatever other command may there be, are summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’”


7 misconceptions about Christians that most people have

By Sodwana Bay

Last week Donald Trump tweeted the following: “How can Ted Cruz be an Evangelical Christian when he lies so much and is dishonest”. You might not take Trump seriously and already understand that the practice of politicians using faith to score points is nothing new, but his comment does lead us to think about some of the common mistakes people make when they think about Christians. We’re perfect We are definitely not perfect. And we know that we’re not. We still sin like everyone else but Jesus came to save people just like us. “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost,” (Luke 19:10) We know that we’ll never be perfect but that’s ok because Jesus already died for us so we can go ahead and do whatever we want Although it’s not a case of doing good to get into heaven, we endeavour to be more like Christ because he paid the ultimate sacrifice for us, and because of the gift of God’s grace, (Ephesians 2:8-10). We judge others all the time Although we can identify sinful behaviour, as Christians it’s not our place to judge others. When a woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus, he said: “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7) We’re no fun Living as a Christian doesn’t mean that we’re stripped of our personalities. Christians can be just as much fun as anyone else. The Bible is full of examples of joy and although we’re not always happy, we have a lot to be happy about. We spend our time plotting to convert everyone to Christianity Sharing news of God’s grace and love is important to us as Christians but it doesn’t mean that we spend every waking moment constantly figuring out how we can turn every single person we come across into a believer. We’re anti-science and we believe everything in the Bible in a literal sense Most Christians believe that science and Christianity are compatible. Francis Collins, the Christian scientist who was appointed head of the National Institutes of Health by President Barack Obama, sums this up well: “I have found there is a wonderful harmony in the complementary truths of science and faith. The God of the Bible is also the God of the genome.” Some Christians interpret the Bible in a literal sense but many understand the Bible through a mixture of literal and figurative interpretation. We only read the New Testament The Old Testament, along with the New Testament, is crucial in revealing to us God’s nature and helps us understand the whole story of God’s love and grace. We only go to church on Sundays There are many Christian denominations and not all of them attend church on Sundays. For example, Seventh Day Adventists celebrate the Sabbath on Saturdays and Catholics attend Mass on Saturday evenings or Sunday mornings. In between all that Christians go to church throughout the week for various reasons.


The thin line between the spiritual and the weird

By Sodwana Bay

Addressing the first converts of the early church, Peter said according to Acts 2:38, “…Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.“ You will receive the Holy Spirit. It’s inevitable that when you become a Christian, the Holy Spirit takes a place in you. And it’s true because after all, as Paul says, we were meant to be temples of the Spirit of God. Humans are very well spiritual beings before we are physical beings. Man is flesh, soul and spirit all at the same time, and while it’s important to build an awareness of a lifestyle that builds on our spirituality, there can also be an extreme to the belief. To embrace our spirituality means that we embrace the idea that without the Holy Spirit, we can accomplish nothing. And it’s important that we have a very firm grasp of this because even being to “spiritual” can remove us of the enabling power of the spirit of God. However, many Christians today tend to over-mystify living in the Spirit by placing too much emphasis on signs, wonders and manifestations pushing God’s will into the background. As a result, some will think that just because demons don’t manifest, mouths don’t foam or jewels and gold don’t appear, God isn’t moving. There is nothing wrong with seeking signs and wonders and by all means we should strive to see God move miraculously. However, the pursuit of signs and wonders must never overshadow the ultimate pursuit of God. How are we to have a healthy view of our spirituality without losing the essence of what it means to be spiritual? Spirit-empowered but rooted in the Word God’s truth exists not only in prophecies, words of knowledge and discernment, but also in the written Word of God. In fact, God’s prophetic words will never go against what has already been written in scripture. That’s why it’s healthy to weigh out spiritual movement with the Word of God. Spirit-empowered but practical To be spiritual means to believe that God can move miraculously in the area of healing, but also firmly acknowledging that God can do so by miraculously working through doctors, medication and proper diet and exercise. God is Spirit and therefore is power, but He is also truth and thus exists in the realm of form. Spirit-empowered but not distracted Many Christians can get too distracted by signs and wonders, and may often conclude that when people don’t get healed or congregations don’t get slain that God doesn’t appear. Remember that the greatest miracle happened through a seemingly normal Baby Boy who was born in a stable and who would become the Saviour of the whole world.