Three questions to ask when God seems silent

By Sodwana Bay

Moses heard God’s voice through a burning bush. Elijah heard it as a whisper. The prophet Samuel heard an audible voice, and the disciples heard it as thunder. God is a communicating God and uses a variety of ways to speak to us. But while we may celebrate in times of answered prayer, sooner or later we must face an opposite truth: sometimes God is silent too. For ten years my wife and I tried to start a family. During that time we sought God diligently through prayer. But the dreamt-of child never came. While God has turned that around for good, what was most perplexing was God’s silence on the matter. We heard him speak on other things during that time, but never about our pursuit of a family. Even having God say No to us would’ve been a mercy in the end, saving us much heartache. But all we got was silence. I don’t know why God speaks clearly sometimes and not others. But I have since learnt to ask three questions when he seems silent to us. 1. Am I shouting too loud to hear him? CS Lewis’s raw, vulnerable words in A Grief Observed speak for many on the topic of God’s silence. Writing shortly after losing his wife Joy he said: ‘Meanwhile, where is God? …go to him when your need is desperate, when all other help is in vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.’ Lewis expresses the frustration of those who seek God but hear nothing. But Lewis’ mood changed as he journeyed through the grief process. Describing his experience as like a drowning man who couldn’t be helped because of his frantic clutching and grabbing, he finally reflected: ‘Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear.’ Just as the world’s clamour can drown out the voice of God, so can the noise of the heart – the sadness, confusion, angst, anger, and the frantic ‘Answer me!’ shouts of our prayers. As Lewis discovered, sometimes these emotions must be allowed to ebb before we can hear God again. He’s ready to speak, we’re just not ready to listen. 2. Do I want God or only his gifts? Christian scripture is beautifully authentic; it covers both the joys and the frustrations of walking with God, and the problem of divine silence isn’t airbrushed out. We’re told Israel experienced it (1 Samuel 3:1), as did biblical greats like Job and Asaph (Job 23:1-9; Psalm 77:1-9). ‘Do not turn a deaf ear to me,’ David prayed during his own experience of God’s silence (Psalm 28:1). ‘Why do you hide when I am in trouble?’ (Psalm 10:1). When we know that the heroes of the faith wrestle too, we can take some comfort. We can also follow their example. While these saints express in unvarnished terms their dismay at God’s silence, they don’t walk away. They may have tears in their eyes, but they keep looking heavenward. They may rant and rave, but they stay in the room. God’s silence has a way of testing whether we want him or just his gifts. If he doesn’t come through with the guidance, healing, or breakthrough we seek, will we still follow him? A friend of mine is going through one of the worst seasons imaginable. The suicide of one family member was followed by the death of another, then a third member getting critically ill. ‘I’m not hearing from God at all right now,’ he told me, ‘and neither do I feel God’s presence. At the moment I’m living by what I believe to be true of God, not my feelings about him. And despite everything, I still believe he’s good.’ My friend is staying in the room. He wants God, not just God’s gifts. 3. Have I really heard what he’s already said? Jesus was silent once, in a way that baffled everyone. It happened as he was teaching in the Temple one day. Having enthralled the crowd with his words, he had suddenly stopped, stooped down, and begun scribbling on the ground. ‘The law of Moses says to stone her,’ angry voices around him shouted. ‘What do you say?’ (John 8:5). But Jesus had stayed as silent as the shamed and shivering woman standing half-naked before them all. When Jesus finally broke his silence it was brief. ‘All right,’ he’d said, ‘but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!’ (8:7). Then he’d looked back to the ground, wordless once more. Silence, a few words, then silence again. One by one, people drifted away, those few words of Jesus ringing loudly in their ears. What is God doing during his periods of silence? Preparing the answer to our prayers? Maybe. Testing the depth of our devotion? Probably. But Jesus’ encounter with the woman caught in adultery shows us something else about God’s silence: Jesus may not have spoken, but he was there. God’s silence doesn’t mean his absence. And his lengthy pauses were meant to ensure his audience really heard what he’d already said. When God is quiet to us we can ask: what did God last say that I need to remember or act on? God doesn’t stay silent forever. He ultimately spoke to Israel and to Job. The morning finally dawned for Asaph and David. My wife and I may never know why God remained silent to our request for a child, but he’s spoken to us since. And amid all the remaining questions I believe this: Sometimes God is speaking and we just can’t hear him. And sometimes he stays silent so we’ll act on what he’s already said. And every moment of silence asks us if he’s really worth following, even if we don’t get what we ask for. I have so much to learn but still believe the answer to that is Yes.


Noah’s Ark: After the storm, why did God use a rainbow as a sign?

By Sodwana Bay

A rainbow is seen after an air strike by forces loyal to Syria’s President Bashar al-Assad on the main field hospital in the town of Douma, eastern Ghouta in Damascus October 29, 2015. The story of Noah’s Ark is one of the best-known in the Old Testament. We teach it to children in Sunday School and they love the idea of the animals going two by two into the ark. We don’t major on what happens to the rest of the world when we teach the story to children, which is fair enough (though we ought to face up to it when we preach it to adults). One part of the story that adults and children alike respond to, though, is the story of the rainbow. In Genesis 9:12-17, after the floods have gone down, God says he will make a covenant with human beings and that the rainbow will be a sign of it: “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between man and the earth… Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.” But why should it be a rainbow? One reason is that there’s a sort of poetic appropriateness about it. Rainbows appear after storms as the light from the sun hits the water droplets in the air and breaks into the different colours we don’t normally see. A light rain may still be falling, but generally speaking you know when you see the rainbow that, no matter how fierce the storm may have been, it’s over. You don’t have to worry about rain never stopping. But the other reason is this. The Hebrew word isn’t “rainbow”, it’s just “bow”, as in “bow and arrow”. It is a war bow, a deadly weapon. There has been terrible destruction on the earth, and God has done it. He has rained down floods that have exterminated every living thing apart from what’s in the ark. We are to imagine him taking aim at the world from heaven. And the point about the bow that he “sets in the clouds” is that it’s pointing the wrong way. It cannot be used as a weapon to threaten the world any more. The sign is an enduring mark of God’s loving care for the world he has made. In the context of the story, it means that he will not sweep the pieces from the board when the game isn’t going his way; human beings will disappoint and betray him endlessly, but he will work with them patiently and lovingly to bring the world to good. But the rainbow has a personal meaning for us as well. George Matheson was a famous Scottish scholar and hymn writer. He had a hard life in many ways. It’s probably not true, as is sometimes said, that his fiancée broke off their engagement because of his blindness (he was almost completely blind by the time he was 20), but he had trials enough. One of his hymns, O love that wilt not let me go, contains the verse: O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee; I trace the rainbow through the rain And feel the promise is not vain That morn shall tearless be. God’s war bow is turned away from all of us. No matter how low we may feel and whatever sins we may be guilty of, he will not cast us aside. He will always work for our good; we always have a future.


Does God really forsake people?

By Sodwana Bay

Have you ever felt like your prayers don’t reach God or that God is too far away for you to commune with Him? We all have at some point. We are told that God and sin cannot co-exist. As a result, many believers feel that God abandons them when they sin. Does God truly leave us when we sin and do we have to earn back the Holy Spirit’s in-filling every time we repent? The Bible makes it clear to us that although we may sometimes feel like God is far or that we no longer deserve God’s presence, our Father is with us. Psalm 94:14 says “For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.” Although it’s true that God and sin cannot co-exist, that’s the beauty and the power of the cross. When Jesus gave up His life for all, He gave us direct access to the Father and the power is made available through the Holy Spirit. So how about non-Christians? Does God forsake them? By all means, no! In fact, God pursues everyone, most especially the lost. He is always finding ways to make himself known to those whom He loves. Matthew 5:45 says that God “sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” And when we refuse Christ’s saving knowledge, God is there grieving. God doesn’t give up on people. People give up on God. God in his ferocious love continues to pursue us and give His all to us. People often ask why the unbelieving still become rich and why criminals still continue to breathe life. There can be many reasons for those situations, but one of the most compelling explanations is because God loves them. God’s love is not swayed by our unbelief nor our inability to be holy. While we were (and still are) sinners, Christ gave Himself up for us because He has chosen to never leave nor forsake us. Although sin is powerful and can disqualify us from entering God’s presence, He found a way for us to commune with Him despite our flaws because nothing can separate us from the love of God. Does God hate sin? Yes, He does. Is He just? Yes, He is. But Jesus has paid the price in full so that we may have access to God at anytime and so that we would never be separated from the presence of God ever again.


Why does God have rules regarding sex? Pastor Chip Ingram provides the answer

By Sodwana Bay

Pastor Chip Ingram of Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, California, knows that following rules can be difficult, but he reminds Christians that love is the driving force out of every rule and parameter set by God. Ingram says God made rules regarding love and sex because He wants His children to have nothing but the very best when it comes to love, sex, and relationships. The truth is every gift that flows out of love almost always has some rules and parameters that are set around it. “God knows that sex outside of marriage is second-rate sex – it’s sex with guilt and shame attached and some pretty devastating consequences,” he writes in an article for The Christian Post. A sexually immoral lifestyle, according to Ingram, is one where couples live together outside of marriage or engage in behaviour that would cause the partner to desire them sexually outside the bonds of marriage. “Even if someone doesn’t believe in God’s Word or follow His rules, it is undeniable that there are certain spiritual, physical and emotional price tags that go along with sex outside of marriage,” Ingram says. He cites statistics obtained by researchers from UCLA, who discovered that couples who live together prior to marriage have a 50 percent higher rate of divorce than those who do not. “They are also more likely to experience infidelity in marriage. Studies have also found that the introduction of sex into a dating relationship almost always ushers in the breakup of the relationship,” he says. This is why Ingram says it makes perfect sense for God to tell His children: “Keep the fire of sex in the fireplace of marriage. If you take it out and put it on the living room floor, it will burn the house down.” He explains that God isn’t “withholding” sex from those who are unmarried since His ultimate desire is to let Christians experience deep, intimate love that will last a lifetime. “The purpose of His rules is to maximise our relationships and pleasure in the long run,” Ingram says. “Real, loving relationships demand sexual purity. People that only want a one-night stand don’t need purity because their behaviour is about self-worship and not about truly loving another person. If we want a loving and lasting relationship, then sexual purity is a must.”


The best gift God gives us — suffering

By Sodwana Bay

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us Romans 5:3-5 In the years that I have been in ministry, I have had the great privilege to pray for the members of our congregation on a regular basis. As I sift through prayer requests and intercede with them, I notice one thing about people’s prayer requests — that they could be broken down into three different categories. These categories are provision, protection and providence. Our members, and most likely every Christian, will often find themselves praying for material and financial provision, God’s hedge of protection from sickness and harm, and providence in their work, studies or family. Never have I seen anyone pray for more suffering and challenges. And who would? We don’t like the idea of challenges and suffering. In fact, many of us will pray for deliverance from suffering and challenges the moment they come. However, the Bible makes it clear that suffering is actually good, and as absurd as the concept may seem, the apostle Paul encourages us to rejoice in suffering. God wants us to throw parties and jump around in joy because of our sufferings! After all, that was always what the context of rejoicing was in Hebrew and Greek culture. The Bible implies that we are to be excited about sufferings because of the good that it brings to us. Romans 5:3-5 tells us that suffering produces endurance, character and hope. I am also not suggesting that praying for blessing and prosperity is bad. God also instructs us to pray for our daily bread and for his joy and goodness. God wants us to be blessed, but He also wants us to suffer. It doesn’t mean that God wants us to be sad and depressed. In fact, God calls us to “rejoice in suffering” because of the great things that suffering produces. Sure we can pray for more success and finances but when God offers to us suffering — whether we pray for it or not — it produces endurance, character and hope, which will always leads to more success and finances. We don’t have to ask our pastors to pray that we suffer. In fact, I urge you not to, but that’s the beauty of God’s grace: He gives us what we need and what makes us better even when we don’t want it. That’s what it means for God to make all things work together for our good. Suffering is a gift from God, and one that we must rejoice in and maximize. If you are suffering today, continue to allow God to grow perseverance, character and hope in you.


5 habits that church attendees should stop doing

By Sodwana Bay

The church is a wonderful avenue to build a strong community of believers who can help point each other to Christ. However, the church is far from perfect and the way that we do church can sometimes be flawed. In church services, people can build some strong habits that can actually be harmful not just for the body as a whole but also for the person. Here are some habits that church goers should stop doing to fully enjoy the blessing that is the church community. 1. Cherry picking sermons When the pastor starts preaching about faith, joy and blessing, everyone seems to be all ears and attentive to the feel-good sermon. And then suddenly the pastor starts encouraging people to read their Bibles, join a small group or give to missions as an application to God’s grace. By that time people have their eyes set on smartphones and on the exit. Every Word spoken through sermons fulfil a need in us, even those that we don’t want to hear. 2. Coming in late to miss worship The first ten minutes of church service will sometimes look like a deserted hall, but just as soon as worship ends people start flocking in through the doors. Worship is the most integral part of the service, and it’s even more important than the preaching of the Word. The preaching is for our benefit, but the worship that we give is our way of blessing and honouring God for His goodness. 3. Saying no to small group invitations There’s a reason why your pastor wants you to be part of a small group, and that’s because he wants to see you get discipled, grow in your walk with Christ and win in every area of your life. Church is a great place to find friends whom you can experience worship, fellowship and discipleship with. 4. Leaving early and skipping fellowship Church isn’t a once-a-week event that we attend to fulfil a religious duty. It is a gift given to us by God to grow in relationship with others whom we can do life with. People should be just as excited about after-church fellowship as they are with the service itself. It’s the time that we can share life with one another. 5. Feeling entitled to a favourite spot I’ve seen people give ushers daunting looks after they were requested to give way for the elderly or to move to the front. Often people can feel a sense of entitlement thinking that the church- and ultimately God- owes them something. Here’s news for you: The church doesn’t owe us anything and it is us who owe our lives to God. It is a blessing and privilege to be a part of the church community.