Forgiveness can be tough. Here’s why we must do it
CS Lewis once described “thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” as the most unpopular of the Christian virtues because in Christian terms “neighbour” encompasses enemies and because of this the command requires that we forgive our enemies. If you’ve ever had to forgive someone for doing something that really hurt you then you’ll most likely be able to understand where CS Lewis was coming from. Forgiveness isn’t easy among the best of friends, let alone the worst of enemies.
The act of forgiveness defines so much of the Christian faith and the thought of what Jesus did so that our sins could be forgiven is overwhelming and inspirational. But process isn’t always viewed as this positive when we have to forgive someone for how they’ve wronged us.
The parable of the unmerciful servant holds a mirror up to how we can act when we have to forgive someone. The servant whose debt is cancelled by the King has had an amazing gift bestowed upon him. He has been set free from an enormous and incomprehensible debt. But this same same servant showed no mercy to another who owed him a debt which was insignificant in comparison to the one that he had previously owed the King. The sins that others commit against us can feel anything but insignificant at the time but what the story reminds us that we too have sinned and been forgiven at a cost.
God’s grace provides us with the perfect guide on which to model how we forgive others. What we learn from what Jesus teaches us about forgiveness is that true forgiveness knows no bounds, it doesn’t run out and we receive it even though we don’t deserve it. Jesus ended the parable with, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart,” (Matthew 18:35). Here we’re reminded that love is at the centre of this act. To truly forgive someone we have to abandon all hopes and wants of exacting revenge and do away with our tally of their wrongdoings.
Forgiving someone can be an extremely difficult thing to do and it can take a long time before we work up the spiritual strength to do so. Meditating on God’s grace and praying for the power to forgive can help us reach a point where we are able to wipe the slate clean. Thinking about how we’ve been forgiven is instrumental in understanding and working towards forgiving others.
The impact that forgiving someone can have on our frame of mind, spirituality, physical health and our relationships is phenomenal. We don’t always realise but holding bitter thoughts or resentment towards another person can have devastating affects on our wellbeing. Not only does the act of forgiveness help set us free, but as forgiven people we have a duty to forgive others.